Day 12 - New Beginnings and Twelve Drummers

In this final episode of the series, Terri reflects on the past year and the need for change. She discusses the resistance to change and the importance of recognizing when something no longer works. Terri encourages listeners to clear clutter, prioritize health, create a vision, build connections, and continue personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of celebrating achievements and setting SMART goals. Terri concludes by inviting listeners for coaching or assistance in planning activities.

Takeaways

• Change is necessary for growth and new beginnings.
• Resistance to change is common and can stem from fear of the unknown, loss of control, comfort with the familiar, and risk aversion.
• Taking action to clear clutter and prioritize health can create space for positive change.
• Creating a vision, building connections, and continuing personal growth are essential for personal development.
• Celebrating achievements and setting SMART goals help you stay motivated and focused.
• Reach out for coaching or assistance in planning activities to support personal growth.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Reflection

02:16
Recognizing the Need for Change

04:09
Resistance to Change

06:34
Taking Action: Clearing Clutter and Prioritizing Health

07:32
Creating a Vision and Building Connections

08:28
Continued Personal Growth and Celebrating Achievements

09:27
Conclusion and Next Steps

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

You're listening to the what Women Want Today podcast. If you love the idea of being part of a community of women who are looking to thrive, not just survive, you're in the right place. Join hosts Terry Cullums and Amanda Keeper each week, as they bring you topics and guests to help you improve your relationships, your health and your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Speaker 2: 0:32

Hello and welcome to today's episode of the what Women Want Today podcast. For those of you who may be new here, welcome. I'm your host of the podcast and for my regular listeners, I'm so thankful that you join me for day 12, the final episode in the series the 12 Days of Christmas. Holy cow, it is freezing here in Southern Arizona today. I went out for my morning sunrise walk and it was 21 degrees While I was out. I remember that I haven't even mentioned to you that our lovely co-host is currently in Putacana, dominican Republic, probably walking on the beach. Maybe we can get her to post a picture on our Facebook group page. So I have a question for you today have you ever gotten a tattoo? Most of you probably don't know that I have a couple of them. Why would you? But they are both in a spot that people would not normally see, and I've gotten some reactions from people in the past that don't really see me as someone who would get a tattoo.

Speaker 2: 1:36

I myself never thought I would get a tattoo until I was in my early 40s. I found myself in Kansas City, missouri, stopping at a convenience store to get one of those little mini bottles of wine for some liquid courage. Well, let's back up a step. I had been talking to Brian, my husband, about this for a little while. He kind of planted the seed during some very funny text message conversations we had when we first started dating, and everyone that I mentioned to you said well, what's it going to be? You know, your tattoo has to have meaning. It needs to mean something to you personally. I thought I didn't know that as my mind was flashing to people I knew that had tattoos. I started asking people what is the significance of your tattoo? What does it mean to you? And it turns out this is a very interesting conversation to have and you could learn some things about a person you might not otherwise have ever known. Anyway, I ended up getting a tattoo across the top of my back, between my shoulders, of the lotus flower, and the lotus flower represents new beginnings, and that is what we are talking about today. My friend, by the way, I am in no way recommending a tattoo, but I do love the idea of recognizing a new beginning with something significant.

Speaker 2: 2:53

For a while now, maybe since late fall, I've had this feeling and I struggled to put it into words, but I'm really going to give it a shot here. For you today, this feeling is it feels like something is not quite right and I know this is so silly, but like, have you ever had an item of clothing in your closet that you really loved when you bought it? But you've had it for a long time and you just kind of keep it in there because I don't know you loved it right? But now here, years later, when you go to pull it out of your closet and you put it on, it just doesn't feel right anymore. And for me, along with that feeling of still trying to wear this old, beloved item of clothing, I also feel a sense of restlessness that I can't quite put my finger on. But I'm okay with this because this means I've grown in my own self-awareness and it means that I'm open and preparing for change.

Speaker 2: 3:46

Now my husband will admit readily to you that he does not like change. He even notices if I move a piece of furniture or change the bedding, and I asked him why. And he said well, if it's not broke, why fix it? And my response was well, maybe it's not broke, but what if it could be better? His resistance to change is polar opposite of my desire to continually look for ways to improve. When we talk about the new design items for our new home build we're working on, he would gladly recreate the home we built back in 2014 because in his mind, it all worked together. Why reinvent the wheel? But to me, those items worked at the time, but since then I've been exposed to new things and new design inspiration.

Speaker 2: 4:32

Do you know why a snake sheds its skin? It's because, even though the snake continues to grow, its skin does not, so they shed their skin to create a new, roomier skin layer. It also helps them to remove parasites, but that's probably a different topic altogether. Sometimes, before you are ready for a new beginning, you have to shed some things that are no longer working for you and, spoiler alert, that probably means change. When I tried to get Brian to go deeper on his resistance to change, he said why don't you figure out why you enjoy it so much? And then my reasoning is probably completely opposite. Touche darling, I did tell him. By the way, this conversation was on the record and probably would be discussed during today's episode. Okay, so let's talk about resistance to change, because understanding often leads to acceptance.

Speaker 2: 5:33

Resistance to change is very common and tends to become more pronounced as we age and it can stem from various psychological, emotional and even practical reasons. But I'm going to give you four common reasons why people resist change. Okay. Number one fear of the unknown. Change often introduces uncertainty and the unknown can be frightening for some people. They may resist change because they're unsure of what the new situation will bring. Okay, number two loss of control. Change can make people feel like they are losing control over their circumstances, and the loss of autonomy can be uncomfortable and lead to resistance. Number three comfort with the familiar. People often find comfort and security in the familiar. Change disrupts routines and the status quo, causing discomfort for those who prefer stability. Okay. Number four risk aversion. Change often involves a level of risk and some individuals are naturally risk averse. Fear of failure or negative consequences can lead to resistance.

Speaker 2: 6:48

We started this journey together by looking at the past year and reflecting on it, maybe even farther back for some of us. It is helpful to reflect on things, to acknowledge our behaviors and our responses to challenges, but we don't need to dwell on them. Those are in the past and we are in the now. We've learned that gratitude helps us shift away from negative thoughts and helps us develop a positive mindset that allows us to appreciate the present. If you're like me and the Clear the Clutter episode resonated, you've already begun decluttering, or at least you acknowledge where this needs to happen. I started here in my office On day four.

Speaker 2: 7:31

We talked about health and really, if we don't have our health, it will be the thing that distracts us from everything else that we want. I was talking to a coworker this morning and heard that a woman he had worked with in Phoenix died six months after retirement, after working for the company for 40 years. We can't control everything, but we can control within our power. We can control not just having years in our life, but life in our years. On day five, we talked about creating a vision. Whether you choose the traditional vision board or some digital product like Pinch's latest or your phone, or simply taking the time to create a powerful daydream or mind movie, we need to take our vision and add the details, the sights, sounds and smells and the emotions that we can feel when we imagine ourselves there. We talked about the power of connection and its impact on our sense of belonging, reducing loneliness, increasing feelings of joy and contentment, and how it helps with stress reduction, gives us opportunities for growth, enhances our mental health.

Speaker 2: 8:42

On day eight, we visited the topic of continued personal growth, and on day nine, we talked about the importance of celebrating our achievements. We talked about our tendencies as Gen X and even as women, to downplay some of our milestones and accomplishments. And day 10 and 11 led us to more tangible topics like time management and SMART goals, to really help us get more intentional and granular, not only on setting the goals and intentions, but how we can weed out the time wasters to make room for the sparkling vision that we've created. And so that brings us here to the conclusion of our series, and I hope, with some of the tools that you've learned, you will use them to move forward this year. As I said in an earlier episode, I'm doing this right along with you, so I will take the next week to map out my goals and intentions, but I can already tell you that 2024 will look different for me and for this podcast.

Speaker 2: 9:46

If you've enjoyed this series and would like me to customize a coaching program to assist you, or maybe you're in leadership, like I was, and you're trying to plan some activities this year for your team and you'd like me to help with that. Please reach out to me at our podcast email, which is wwwthenumber2daypodcastcom. You can also private message me on our Facebook page or Instagram account. Those things are all in the show notes. Thank you for being with me during this season. I really enjoyed this time with you. Remember to subscribe to our YouTube channel and support the podcast by sharing, liking and commenting on our content. That's all I have for you today. We'll see you next week. Amanda, I don't know if this ever happens to you, but I sometimes will learn something really cool on a podcast, on a YouTube video, audio book, whatever. I think I'm gonna remember it and then I forget. Does that ever happen to you?

Speaker 3: 10:52

Yeah, I call it Brain After 40 all the time.

Speaker 2: 10:55

That's what we'll officially call it. But we've come up with something. Do you wanna introduce it?

Speaker 3: 11:01

Sure, it's from an app called Quick Jim Quick and it's an acronym called FAST.

Speaker 2: 11:07

Yeah, and it stands for Facebook. So we're inviting you officially right now to come over and join us on Facebook. Get involved with the community, share your favorite episodes with your friends on Facebook.

Speaker 3: 11:17

Yeah, the A is go ahead and take an action, so you can't remember anything if you don't act.

Speaker 2: 11:23

And S is for subscribe. Make sure you're subscribed to our YouTube channel.

Speaker 3: 11:27

And then T is teach. Teach what you've learned to somebody else. Share the love.

Speaker 2: 11:32

All right, we hope that works for you. Thank you for joining us. We'll see you next week.

Speaker 3: 11:36

Bye-bye.