Self Confidence and Emotional Intelligence are the GAME Changers

Ever wondered if the way we perceive ourselves dictates our behaviors and emotions? Or if the people we choose to surround ourselves with are more of a reflection on us than on them? Tune in as we dissect these intriguing concepts through the enlightening metaphor of 'The Three Chairs', introduced by Dr. Karyn Gordon on the Resetters podcast. The chairs stand symbolically, each encapsulating a different attitude and representing the spectrum of self-perception - from self-doubt to arrogance to the golden middle ground of confidence laced with humility.

We further plunge into the depths of self-perception, analyzing its impact on our behavior and emotions, all through the lens of the acclaimed TV show 'Six Feet Under'. We'll also touch upon the natural evolution of friendships and the paramount importance of being around positive influences. We share our personal experiences and reflections on the subject, aiming to provide valuable insights for our listeners. For those keen on exploring these themes further, we recommend Dr. Karen Gordon's book "The Three Chairs" and Dr. Mindy Pelz' Resetter podcast. This episode is a treasure trove of wisdom, underlining the significance of self-awareness, intentional actions, and personal growth. So, ready to take the plunge into a journey of self-discovery and transformation? Buckle up!

The Resetter Podcast episode 
The Three Chairs Book Link
Ted Talk with Dr Karyn Gord on the Three Chairs Concept

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

You're listening to the what Women Want Today podcast. If you love the idea of being part of a community of women who are looking to thrive, not just survive, you're in the right place. Join hosts Terry Cullums and Amanda Keeper each week, as they bring you topics and guests to help you improve your relationships, your health and your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Speaker 2: 0:32

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the what Women Want Today podcast. My name is Terry Cullums.

Speaker 3: 0:38

Hey, there, I'm Amanda Keeper, your co-host, welcome.

Speaker 2: 0:42

Amanda, I'm so excited about our topic today, but you know, something else happened to me this weekend that I just have to mention before we get started. Today my husband surprised me and took me to Trans-Siberian Orchestra and it was so amazing, awesome, oh, it was like, you know, one of those things that you, you like listen to something every Christmas and it just uplifts you and you feel so good every time you listen to it and then you get to like sit there in the audience and you're watching them live. And I got to tell you there was one song where I was actually like crying, I was so moved. I don't know if you're a fan or not, but, like, even Brian was like, yeah, this was really good. The light show was amazing. It was really just such an incredible experience and something that's been on my bucket list for a long time, so I was really excited.

Speaker 2: 1:35

He surprised me. He started out by saying don't plan anything on Sunday, like and that was, I think, his way of saying don't plan a podcast episode with Amanda. So I was like, okay, and I was like well, what do you want to do? And he goes I'll think of something. That's how he started it and he's like I'll think of something. And then, as it got closer, he's like so what are we going to wear? And I go oh, I have no idea because I don't know where we're going. And he's like well, you might, you might want to wear a dress. And I'm like a dress, like where would you be taking me where I need to wear a dress. So, anyways, I ended up having like 45 minutes. The last moment he says oh, we need to leave by 11 o'clock. You might want to put some things in an overnight bag, just in case we decide to stay overnight. I'm like what the heck? So I'd love.

Speaker 3: 2:22

You had a drive, though.

Speaker 2: 2:23

Oh yeah, we had to go all the way to Phoenix and we came back the same night, so I don't know if people can see Charlie he's clinging on my lap today. But yeah, it was a long driving but it's so, just so worth it. And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking about, like because it was about Christmas past, the ghost of Christmas past, and so there was some narration and different things. It was a very, very neat show. The light show was amazing, but as I'm sitting there in the audience and one of the parts of it like all these memories of Christmas just like flashed through my head, and some of them were like very just cherished memories and other ones were a little sad, to be honest with you.

Speaker 2: 3:10

But I'm glad we're talking about the three chairs today. It's a tool that I think we're going to be able to give to our audience that they can use in both their personal, their, you know, with their spouse, with their friends at work. And I think what made me so interested in bringing this topic to our audience today was how, in the podcast that I sent you and I'll put that link in the show notes they talked about how we change over time and we can sit in different chairs and even even currently, as she was talking and I was learning about this, I could see how times I sit in a different chair. So I want to hear your thoughts about the three chairs.

Speaker 3: 3:58

Yeah, well, first let's introduce the concept so the audience does what we're talking about. So Terry sent me a podcast from the Resetters podcast, from one of our first videos. Her favorite host, mindy Pells, I think, is how you pronounce it. Yeah, she had a guest named Dr Karen Gordon, and Dr Karen Gordon has a tech talk about why great leaders have amazing confidence and that confidence is the special sauce, or the secret sauce to living the fulfilling life and having really fulfilling relationships. And so the chair's concept was born because she was trying to help a client, a teenage client, with some self-esteem issues, and so she started devouring the research and she really discovered that people usually sit in one of three camps, so she gave it chairs.

Speaker 3: 4:46

The left chair is what she calls the blind attitude, and this is the chair where a lot of people sit when they feel like they have imposter syndrome, like they are very, very critical of self, they are their own worst critic, they're blind to their own value and their own worth, they put themselves down a lot and they're just really, really self-deprecating.

Speaker 3: 5:11

The right chair is what she calls the disguised attitude, and this is for people that posture a lot and mask a lot, people that come off as highly arrogant and cocky People that are not afraid to put other people down and make other people feel small. But really what the arrogance is is a cover for the insecurity. What she really wants people to try to get to or to strive for is the middle chair, which she believes is where confident people sit, who don't put themselves or others down. They lift others up, they are humble, they surround themselves with others so that they can learn from other people and they assess where they put their energy and who they spend their time with so that they can continue to grow and have positive energy. I thought it was fascinating. In her TED Talk, she says that 70% of people connect to either the left or the right chair.

Speaker 2: 6:08

Wow, yeah, that doesn't leave a lot of room for the middle, because one of the things that she talks about is how important it is in relationships to first get yourself to the middle chair and then pick a spouse or a friendship based on where the person's sitting. So are you able to explain how she talked about in the I think she talked about it in her TED Talk too, but I know she talked about it in the podcast where why does somebody that sits in the left chair pick the person that sits in the right chair? Can you talk about that a little bit?

Speaker 3: 6:47

Well, they're complementary relationships, right? A lot of times we seek out the characteristics and other people that we don't have in ourselves, hoping that that might bring us up to a level of confidence, and sometimes it works. Sometimes it can be very tricky. So if you have a female especially, you know I have some clients that are in high school and they have their first relationship and they're very, very insecure. They're sitting in the left chair. They're attracted to men if they're same sex. They're attracted to a partner that is really overconfident, if you will, because they desire those traits, and so they partner with them. And then sometimes, a lot of times, what happens is the person that is arrogant or cocky or power driven. They see and seek out the weakness of the person in the left chair, who is very insecure, and what was once attraction now becomes a very unhealthy dynamic where there's power over and the person in the left chair, who's already insecure, becomes even more insecure as they give away their identity to somebody who seemingly seems more powerful than them.

Speaker 2: 7:56

So I just want to wrap my brain around it. So if I'm not confident, if I'm a person who's not confident and I seek out a very over the top, arrogant, overpowering kind of male dominant person, if I'm in a heterosexual relationship, I Well, you can just say masculine traits you can say masculine traits Okay.

Speaker 3: 8:17

Because females can have masculine traits as well.

Speaker 2: 8:19

That's true. So I'm picking that person because they're mirroring what I say to myself.

Speaker 3: 8:27

They're. They're mirroring what you don't have. They're mirroring what you don't have, and so you're attracted to their confidence because you don't have it but, it's an overconfidence. It's an overconfidence that a lot of people who are arrogant and they are driven by power, they seek weaker personality so that they can have power over them and continue to have power over them.

Speaker 2: 8:49

Hmm, boy, this is. You know, this is like bringing up so much and I, I like that we, you know, like when I was sitting there in the in the concert and I was flashing back over the memories of Christmas, like I was seeing a different version of myself. You know, in some of the, in some of the memories, and I like that, we can gain confidence, we have the power within ourselves to move to a different chair. I love that, but I also, when she was talking, I also recognize that I probably spent a lot of my life in the left chair. I don't think I've ever been in the right chair, but I have moved in and out of the middle chair a lot, depending on, and it's fascinating and I think that's what.

Speaker 2: 9:39

When I was listening to the podcast, I was like how does this, how does this help our audience of midlife women? How can this tool be helpful? You know, as we're moving and some of those memories and some of the things that have been happening over the last couple weeks, for me is and I don't actually don't experience this very often, but that empty nest syndrome, because I have been decorating for Christmas and it's such a magical and special time for me. I want to help create those memories. Excuse me, with my, you know, my new family with with Brian and I's blended family.

Speaker 2: 10:16

I would love to create some more of those memories and you know, it's just not possible all the time, demographically it's not always possible, but I find myself being nostalgic for the days when my children were home and I had the opportunity to create more memories with them about that. And so, as I'm thinking about this topic, I'm thinking okay, so we've got some women that are moving probably into the empty nest phase You'll be there in a couple years, most likely and you know how do we, how do we use this tool to navigate some of the more difficult transitions into midlife. What would you think?

Speaker 3: 10:59

Well, I think the tool is really about self-awareness and self-assessment.

Speaker 1: 11:04

So in the chat talk she talks about.

Speaker 3: 11:07

You know, when you listen to the characteristics being described, which chair do you think that you're in? So, one of the ways that and I love that she said this is a human problem age is irrelevant, because, yes, we're talking to women in midlife, but this is a. This is a human problem. Okay, so we are. We are looking at the to answer your question, though how does this impact midlife? What are you saying to yourself about the transition? Right, so that the question becomes how is being an empty nester influencing your self-talk? How has being an influence or an empty nester contributing to what you're saying to yourself about your own worth? Do you have an identity outside of the children if the children are leaving home? You know, one of the things that Gary always talks to me about is you know what? At the end of the day, amanda, all of our kids are going to be gone.

Speaker 3: 12:02

And it's you and I. You're the ones left and we have to have confidence in our relationship and the stability of our friendship, because the friendship is what's going to sustain us over the years. It's interesting. I was watching I'm a huge Netflix binge watcher and I'm watching this new one that just came out called Six Feet Under, and it's about this family that owns a funeral home. Okay, so it's hilarious. It's if you haven't seen it and you're looking for a new show, six Feet Under.

Speaker 3: 12:32

But they go through all sorts of these transitions, right, and they are, you know, trying to figure out what their identity is. And they are grappling with it because the main character, the father, dies in like the first scene of the movie and or of the series. And now they're like looking at their blind spots. The whole show is about uncovering blind spots of what happens when our needs aren't met and our confidence takes a hit. And then what kinds of behaviors?

Speaker 3: 13:03

What kinds of behaviors do we then portray? So how we think about ourselves drives how we feel about ourselves, which drives our behavior, right? So if one of the characters in the show is noticing that he's constantly pining for his father's affection and attention and to be a priority, but he never gets it. Then he has a less, he has a lower self-esteem, which makes him feel not worthy, because he's pining after somebody's attention that he can never get. So then what does he do for his behavior? He puts up a wall and he's super, super emotionally unavailable to people, because if he's unemotionally available to people, then people can't hurt him even more.

Speaker 2: 13:46

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 13:47

So, you know, as we go through life, you know the scenario may change. The the what we're going through may change, but what doesn't change is how we think about ourselves, which leads to how we feel about ourselves to leads to how we behave.

Speaker 2: 14:02

Right, and as I'm walking through Hobby Lobby the other day, and I think it was just because there were like so many moms and their kids in there that day, and you know I saw a range of different behaviors out of the moms and the kids. You know some of the moms you could just tell, or you know the very nurturing and, and the other moms were just so impatient and I I just I just kind of was like take, took myself back to those days and I got, I got hit with this like wave of sadness, like oh my gosh, I feel lost. I feel lost today. And then I stopped and got curious about like where were these feelings coming from? I started asking myself some questions and you know, one of the questions I asked myself is do I only do what I do for other people or do I do it because it brings me joy as well? And the answer was overwhelmingly yes, it brings me a lot of joy. And then the second thing I had to say to myself because we are, you know, talking to ourselves constantly right is I choose joy, I am choosing joy. I'm not going to be sad over this holiday season. I'm not going to be sad that my mom is no longer here to share it with us. I'm very intentionally choosing joy today and I snapped out of it pretty quickly. But you know I did tell Brian. I said you're going to have to be patient with me at times during this holiday season because I am choosing joy today, but at any moment, you know, I could slip back into. I miss. You know, I miss the.

Speaker 2: 15:45

You know I think I've told you the story about years ago when I had a very solid group of friends at one of the jobs I worked at and one of the nurses made a very, you know, very wonderful experience for all of us at Christmas time.

Speaker 2: 15:57

And we've, you know, we've had different things where we've done, like white elephant things and potlucks, and you know, working from home by yourself, like you don't get those opportunities during this time of year to interact with other people and I actually was in a Facebook group of, you know, midlife women, men and men and women, perry men and men and women, and you know they were saying, oh well, I don't have anybody, I don't celebrate, I don't celebrate the holidays, I, it's easier just to be alone and I'm like that's not. I just don't think that's the right mindset heading into the holidays. I think you know if you're tempted to to choose the sad, to choose the nostalgia, to choose the more painful, like I think it's going to be a much harder experience for you and you're I'm assuming you're sitting way over in the left chair with no hopes of getting to the middle chair at that point.

Speaker 3: 16:54

Sure, I mean, a lot comes up for me there. You know, sometimes it's okay to sit there. Sometimes it's okay to sit there in that nostalgia and let yourself feel that nostalgia and that pain and you know to say it's not okay. I wouldn't go that far. I think that people are on their own journey and you know for me to tell another person it's not okay to sit in that chair for a while maybe they, you know they need to sit in that chair.

Speaker 3: 17:25

A lot of clarity comes from that. You know you can't have light without dark, and one of the things that I'm learning in my life is that you know, instead of running from the dark, what can I learn from the dark? Why?

Speaker 1: 17:38

is the dark here right now.

Speaker 3: 17:40

You know what is the dark teaching me right now. So you know, I guess I'd have to disagree a little bit on that part. But you don't want to stay in the dark right.

Speaker 3: 17:53

Kind of like what you said when you said that to Brian. Like you know, what I might today I'm choosing joy, but it might not be like this every day, right, but to know that, you know, sometimes it does last multiple days. If it lasts more than a couple of weeks, you know, definitely get some help. But I think that your point is well made For me. As you were talking, you know you're feeling that nostalgia over the kids being little and like having people come over and decorate and having this rich community of friends. You know, on Thursday is my mom's two year death anniversary and so so Christmas time for me the last two years I've learned, is a little bit different.

Speaker 3: 18:38

And you want to talk about transitions right, like a transition when you get older and we lose people and the holidays and the meaning of holidays starts to change a little bit, kind of like you said, with losing your mom.

Speaker 3: 18:50

So it's been a really tough week for me and I suspect that Thursday's probably going to be tough as well, because there's a lot of there's a feeling of injustice because she passed away at 62 years old and I feel like she deserved more life and she loved Christmas, and so that's where you know that emotional intelligence comes in and actually Karen Gordon talked about that that part of being confident and finding that middle chair more often is emotional intelligence.

Speaker 3: 19:23

And so I'm starting to think like, okay, the darkness is there and I can allow the darkness to be there, but it's not an either or it's a both, and there's going to be darkness and there's going to be light. On Thursday, on my mom's two year death anniversary, there's going to be darkness because of the longing and the loss and the injustice of how I feel she was taken too soon, but there's going to be this great light thinking about how she absolutely loved Christmas and you know, one of the last Christmases that we ever spent together. We had all of our cousins down on the mountain and she lived in a holler and the hills of North Carolina and she had her friend come up and she gave us massages.

Speaker 3: 20:07

And it's super rustic. Don't think of anything fancy or like a spa, think of like a really dirty barn and you can smell like dog shit in the room and there's like stale beer. But there's this really comfy bed and this person that knows what they're doing and they're giving you the best massage in the world and you feel like you're in the twilight zone and it's like it's not either or it's both, and this is crazy. There's dark but there's light and they can both exist at the same time, and I think part of being in that middle chair is like allowing that to exist.

Speaker 2: 20:49

I love that analogy. That was such an awesome story. So let's talk about, like, once you're in the middle chair and you let's. You know I loved I think she kind of went down this path a little bit with podcast is you know? So what if you meet your spouse when you're really young and I'm sure you you're going to be able to relate to this in your, in your practice what if you come across your spouse when you're really young and you get married and now you know you've moved into that middle chair and you've spent the last several years like, really working on yourself, working on your growth, but your spouse hasn't changed along with you, like, I'm sure you experienced that. This is so hard.

Speaker 3: 21:32

I have lots of clients and that experienced this and usually it is just a fact that when couples go to counseling, usually it is the female that initiates counseling. If it's the same sex relationship, the female, nine times out of 10, will initiate and bring her husband.

Speaker 3: 21:50

Usually he does not want to come and he, you know, begrudgingly goes in and sits down and listens and I feel like that's like my one shot, you know, it's like that Eminem song, like you got one shot. I really show my value, that I can help, because you know they're very resistant a lot of the times. But, to answer your question, a lot of women who marry young they get to a point where they have really noticed the impact of the hit on their self esteem, of sort of trading in their freedom, identity for mom, identity. And then they look around and they realize like a lot of the experiences that they saw others having was those were things that they didn't get to have. And then they start really doing a lot of self development, a lot of reading and they're they're just growing in so many ways and their husband doesn't even recognize them anymore.

Speaker 3: 22:47

And their partner doesn't recognize them anymore. And now there's this power difference and it feels very threatening to the person that is not doing the work because they're like what happened to the person I married.

Speaker 2: 23:00

Right.

Speaker 3: 23:00

And all I can say is something that when I got married, the pastor who married me said I can't tell you how many times people come in and say you know, we've just grown, we've just changed, and it doesn't feel like we're the same people that we were when we got married.

Speaker 3: 23:15

And he said during the sermon he said duh you probably shouldn't, be Probably shouldn't be like we're here to grow and to evolve, like if you just look at the fresh baby that comes out of the oven and like look at the newness and the freshness and then look at the over the lifespan. Like even our skin changes, we have wrinkles. We were growing, we're evolving.

Speaker 3: 23:41

And with that comes change. And so I say to the people that are resistant to change you know, it is a factor of wellness and I know that most people like to see themselves as people who have the ability to grow and change and adapt and develop, no matter what kind of cultural background they come from. And we can agree on that. And so if we can agree on that, would you be open to hearing about this? And then usually people are so.

Speaker 2: 24:11

Yeah, and Dr Karen said, one of the things that you can always do is work on yourself. You can't always that's the only thing you really have control of is you know your own self and hopefully the person that you're changing into becomes someone that's even more attractive to your partner, and they're like hey, I see this, I want to get on board with this. You know it's interesting. You were talking about the show six feet under Brian and I also watched a TV show that has a great impact on our marriage and I've brought this up to you several times before, I know, but it's a show called Married at First Sight and it's where these couples come together. They get matched by these you know, quote unquote experts, and last night's episode was pretty interesting and one of the things that you know, because we'll pause it during the show, like you know, what do you think about that? And one of the things and my husband has grown so much, just tremendously in the time we've been together, and so you know when we are talking about the spouse that is changing.

Speaker 2: 25:12

I think it's important to note that you do have influence over your spouse, and I remember saying that to a coaching client and she was like, oh, I don't think so. And I'm like, oh, yeah, we do, we have, we have influence over our spouse. But I would say that's one area I've influenced Brian and is a lot of curiosity about growth. And so last night's conversation kind of surprised me a little bit because his take on this particular topic that we were kind of paused and discussing was well, if you were, if you were meant for each other, you wouldn't have so much conflict. And I said I said I think conflict is normal and healthy Not that I love it, because we all know I don't but but he said no, if you, if you are, if you are with the right person, if you are matched appropriately, there shouldn't be a lot of conflict. What are your thoughts?

Speaker 3: 26:05

I mean, I think there's a balance and I think it depends on personality. I mean, I'm married to somebody who loves to debate when my husband is in the room with his daughter. His daughter and him are so similar. And they will argue about the color blue, they will debate about the color blue. They'll really enjoy it. And I'm looking at her husband and he's looking at me and I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't even believe we just wasted 10 minutes of our lives listening to that conversation.

Speaker 3: 26:41

I mean, truly, I'm baffled. And you see my eyes, I am baffled. Some personalities like to kind of jar. They like to spar. They like to spar. I don't, I'm not that type of person, and Gary knows it about me. So Gary expresses more of that side of himself with other people, because he has learned to listen to me Like, look, I'm less attracted to you when you do that and I know you want me to be attracted to you, right, babe?

Speaker 2: 27:10

Yeah, To me in question, yeah.

Speaker 3: 27:14

I'm not trying to heck him, shut off who he is. I'm saying that part of cognitive complexity and emotional intelligence is like OK, in this situation this is appropriate. In that situation, that's appropriate.

Speaker 3: 27:25

That just means that you know how to move in and out and meet people's needs and deepen their relationship. When he is that way with me, I don't feel close to him. When he and Pax and Jar and they spar like that, they feel close to each other because that's like their dynamic. So I don't usually say like, oh, there's one size fits all answer to those types of relational questions.

Speaker 3: 27:50

I will say this One of the things that they talked about on the podcast that was the inspiration for this podcast is that the woman said I think it was Dr Karen Gordon. She said my husband notices when I spend time with people that are healthy for me, because when I'm with my girlfriends and I come home and he's like babe, you are just energized.

Speaker 2: 28:14

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 28:14

And you feel like full, you seem full of life. And then he said he will notice that when I come home and somebody has really just like knocked me down and he'll say I think you might have a frenemy.

Speaker 2: 28:25

Are you sure?

Speaker 3: 28:25

that that person you're allowing to have access to your energy is not a frenemy. So we need to. As we get older and I think we do a much better job of this in our 40s and 50s is we decide that maybe we've outgrown some friendships.

Speaker 3: 28:40

And maybe we. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I have outgrown many friendships. Many friends have outgrown me and I look at those friendships with great nostalgia. I would not take back any of those moments with any of the friends that are no longer a part of my life because we've grown in different ways. But I also probably wouldn't choose the same friends anymore, like I'm different. And she even talks about the brain and the brain science and how, after 40, like, what we find attractive in a friend is even different.

Speaker 3: 29:16

So it's like yeah, it's like you know, one of my favorite authors, Dr Sue Johnson from Hold Me Tied up, talks about attachment and she's like you know, instead of pathologizing the changes that we experience, she says of course you are, Of course you do, it's your way of experiencing the world and interacting with the world and that's your roadmap and that's OK, Like that doesn't mean that that person's bad or you're bad. It just means that that energy doesn't fit anymore, and that's.

Speaker 2: 29:49

OK, I know exactly what you're saying when I think back about friendships that felt so right and perfect at the time. You've outgrown them, you're a different person, but it doesn't mean that you regret being friends with them. And you and I talk about deepening friendships a lot. But I think we also need to be mindful of when a friendship is no longer serving us because we have grown so much and they talk about this on the podcast a little bit Like if you are in a period of growth in your life, if you are doing something and you're, let's say, let's use you for an example You're on fire with your career, like you're doing leadership training and you're a college professor and you're doing mental health counseling, if some of your friends aren't cheering you on and being excited, if they've gone silent or if they've gone critical. That's a friendship to evaluate, to see if it's still serving you, versus a woman who sits in the middle chair is going to be your champion. She's going to be cheering you on, she's happy for you, she's excited, she's bragging about you to your husband when you get done, having a conversation about how amazing you are. Those are the type of friendships I think you and I are encouraging on these podcasts. Those are the types of relationships we want you to seek out. So I love this topic.

Speaker 2: 31:11

I wish we had a lot more time to dig into it, but I am going to recommend the book the Three Chairs. I know it has a byline, I can't remember it. I'm Dr Karen Gordon. I'm going to put the link in the show notes. Also going to link Dr Mindy Pels's Resetter podcast. I definitely recommend this episode, but she has many more great episodes for you to listen to as well. And is there anything you'd like to leave the audience with today?

Speaker 3: 31:38

Oh, just that. I want to echo what you said, and that is, when you leave a person's presence, if you feel better and more energized, you're with the right person. If you leave a person and you seem drained and you're second guessing everything and going back to your question about what do you think about what Brian said? If there's so much conflict, I really just want to go downstream and go with the flow, and when you're in the presence of somebody who really grows you, everything feels so easy.

Speaker 1: 32:08

And maybe that's what he meant.

Speaker 3: 32:10

It's like man. It is so nice to be with your people.

Speaker 3: 32:14

It is so nice to just know I can just be and it's easy and it flows, and I want to do more of that and less of the other. So have a great day everyone. We just can't say enough how grateful we are about your feedback that you give us. So if there's anything that you thought of today while we were talking, go over to the Facebook group and tell us, maybe what chair you're in and what season you're in. Are you in the left chair, the middle chair, the right chair? Maybe you're in the right chair with certain people and in the middle chair with other people. Maybe at home you're in the middle chair, but at work you're in the left chair. So there's lots of things to think about and we encourage you to check out those podcasts. Have a wonderful day.

Speaker 2: 32:59

Bye everybody. Amanda, I don't know if this ever happens to you, but I sometimes will learn something really cool on a podcast, on a YouTube video, audiobook, whatever. I think I'm going to remember it and then I forget. Does that ever happen to you?

Speaker 3: 33:14

Yeah, I call it brain after 40 all the time.

Speaker 2: 33:17

That's what we'll officially call it, but we've come up with something. Do you want to introduce it?

Speaker 3: 33:22

Sure, it's from an app called Quick Jim Quick and it's an acronym called FAST.

Speaker 2: 33:28

Yeah, and the F stands for Facebook. So we're inviting you officially right now to come over and join us on Facebook. Get involved with the community, share your favorite episodes with your friends on Facebook.

Speaker 3: 33:38

Yeah, the A is go ahead and take an action, so you can't remember anything if you don't act.

Speaker 2: 33:45

And S is for subscribe. Make sure you're subscribed to our YouTube channel.

Speaker 3: 33:49

And then T is teach. Teach what you've learned to somebody else. Share the love.

Speaker 2: 33:54

All right, we hope that works for you. Thank you for joining us. We'll see you next week.

Speaker 3: 33:58

Bye-bye.